Birthday Reflections

Damn, it has been a year. Since October of last year, I’ve been to Savannah, Georgia; to Dubai by way of New York and Amsterdam; to Park City, Utah, to Palm Springs, before starting production on a documentary project that started in Arizona and took us to New Mexico and back home to South Dakota. 

I produced work for my day job at a fast sprint that never stopped. Travel was a consistent friend. In the middle of all this work, I still tried to find space to enjoy life. Going to concerts with my sister and spending quality time with family. I also started working with a fitness coach. For the first time in ever, I feel like the gym is a safe space to let go and build. 

Recently I came back to New York for Climate Week, spoke on a panel about climate storytelling, and watched the team win it in these spaces dominated by wealth and privilege. Then we jetted off to Chicago to celebrate Native artists before returning home. Coming home was another sprint. And it feels like we’re still going.

In the middle of all this, our Lakota Nation vs United States team won an Emmy for best documentary and my dear friends Jessie and Laura won an Emmy for best direction. Wild, beautiful, and no other team and story deserved that more. Clearly, I’m biased. 

To make things more complex and chaotic, while all this was happening, my mom, brothers, and I had to battle some personal fights. Family and relatives can be your worst enemy sometimes. I watched my mom’s health take a hit because of the stress and slowly fear crept in about the future.

Now I no longer live on the Rez. We’re still adjusting to this new, yet familiar place. It’s still home. More than ever, I am determined to make sure my mom and brothers are protected. But, as I write this, the spark of creativity is dull. I’m questioning and reexamining everything. The uncertainty keeps me up sometimes. I’m tired mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet, deep down, I know my path. I know everything will be ok. We’ve weathered storms before.

I’m looking forward to this new year of life. For whatever it brings, I know there’s so much worth fighting for and so much love to experience. I have gratitude for all that I have been able to accomplish. It wasn’t done alone. So many caring hands have held me close. That’s what stood out the most this year, the people in my life. I may not be living my rich boy life, but I am so full of abundance.

Damn, this is getting long. I’ll stop here for now because I’ll just keep on yapping. Maybe I’ll spread this out in future posts. Share more of my story with you. And if you read this far and found this blog, thank you. You could be doing so many other things, but you’re here listening.

Wopila.